spectating participant

June 4, 2005

more feelings

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 1:13 pm

I’m feeling all alone again, left out and friendless. And, well, that isn’t that far from the truth and has been the same forever and ever. I have my friends, the ones that are arms-plus lengths away. No close friends and I’m sure it is more an issue on my part. I don’t know how to make friends, I don’t manage small talk, and I am always certain that people wish that I would just shut up and leave them alone. There is M&M and I like their company but they seem so distant lately and I’m pulling back as well. Not sure why, think it has something to do with the new little one in the house, but I’m not sure how that it causing things to be different. And well, I’ve been spending a lot of time with Chris, but still need some friends of my own. Of course, I can say this all I want, over and over again as I do throughout the years, but until I figure out how to make it happen, then it won’t.

On the subject, got a random email inviting me out for coffee from a gal on one of the lists I’m on. I don’t know her at all, but we might still meet up some time (I’ve baltimore plans tomorrow) and chat over coffee/tea. Seems she is also a mom and likes crafting, so we’ll see. So, who knows, maybe I can make an effort here.