spectating participant

November 22, 2005

ode to this state

Filed under: life — suzanne henderson @ 11:56 pm

I really … strongly dislike (yeah I’ll use that term) this state. This is nothing new, but now that I’ve been flipping through real estate ads trying to see if there is anywhere reasonable to live, I realize that this — state is not where I want to live at all. It doesn’t help that I go flipping through the wisconsin real estate ads at the same time, noticing how I can have the “dream home” in Wisconsin for the price of a 2 bedroom shack in an undesirable area here. sigh.

I am not sure what to do. Guess I’m in the limbo stage of new horizons and new life changes and whether or not the one on the horizon will meet up with the one in the stars in time. If so, looks like I’ll have to find a way to make Maryland acceptable. If not, looks like I’ll get my little winter nook in Wisconsin back but probably at the cost of a decently paying job.

Low housing prices and low employment market in the Milwaukee area. Extreme housing prices and not-high-enough-to-make-live-here employment market in the Washington area. Comparing those two statements, it is a toss up. Move to Milwaukee, somehow find a job because no matter what it is it’ll still be more in relation to cost of living than the higher paying job out here. But, there is still the little extra employment duration time needed, which means temporary housing before permanent housing. So, stick it out here for a year or two making a bit more and throwing a chunk away on rent or drive out west and make little and save a little? Guess it all comes back to the point where the land meets sky and what that works out to be. Loving Maryland is going to be hard, if that is what I’ll have to do. Not sure that it’ll ever be possible when it means busting your ass just to pretend to be scraping by.

In slightly less depressing news (well maryland being the depressing part and the wonderfulness of wisconsin just amplifying it)…

I have a meeting for an internship with Alex’s school tomorrow. I’m really excited about this opportunity and looking forward to really selling myself and getting that internship. I really need it. I really want it. I will make it happen… ya know, since I do approach life that way in so many ways, I guess I can turn that back around on maryland. I need a comfortable place to live. I need to be happy. I want to raise a family. i’ll get it—somehow, prolly by working away all energy to even consider supporting the emotional needs of family… sigh. this place just sucks it all away, all hope, all happiness, all the possibilities of things that I long for.

ya know, I’ve heard people talk about living in those far out places, like Virginia or something. I wonder if they suck as much as I imagine them to… I bet they do, surely they do, cause really, I bet it, is all just a matter of like company or something. starting to think that I’m getting all depressed about this place, maybe I am, but real estate ads and savings account balances can do that to a person sometimes. i’ll just worry about tomorrow.

November 13, 2005

settle into winter, leap out of spring

Filed under: life — suzanne henderson @ 5:44 pm

change is afoot, but I’ll let the winter settle in deep around me before the rush of spring and all the things that may come with it. now, with that announcement diverted, other news…

i’ll be graduating in spring!

that is good news and about all the news I have for now. :)