spectating participant

May 26, 2004

when life happens

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:55 pm

My posting has become sporadic. Finding a chance to sit down and reconnect with myself in that retrospective way has felt too obligatory. It seems that I can’t just sit down and pour out updated information for the masses (bwahaha) that read this site. And also, what is there to update, really?

I’ve been busy with life. Nothing fascinating really, just normal everyday life. Checking schedules to see who has which alex. Going to a [Gray Eye Glances] concert in Baltimore with everyone. Making dinner for the people working and playing in the yard cause I don’t feel like getting hot and sweaty outside. Going to dinner with friends. Being late for work to help tear down ceiling and plaster walls to examine termite damage (ick, it was raining termites). Taking both alex to megan’s house for swimming. Thrift store shopping for PDF. Browsing seeds and plants for the garden. Movie nights at home.

Yeah, life is happening and I’m too busy to really sit down and write about it. Plus, it’s that mundane type of stuff that doesn’t really dress up well anyways. But, for those who care, I am happy. Shaken down to the core happy, not just some passing fancy happiness. I’m discovering many things about myself and about others. And I’ve discovered that people in this world have feelings and emotions of all ranges and it is okay. Relationships have multifaceted dimensions and layers and interactions. I’ve realized I managed to have at least two (perhaps all three) long term relationships with people void of these basic emotional cycles. Cycles that I am always in the middle of, always pulled in circles with and left feeling that something is wrong with me. And no, emotions are a good thing, they need to be felt and expressed. And being surrounded with this new realization, in a supportive environment, is very inspiring and uplifting. So yes, I am happy.

PDF is this weekend. I’m still not excited about it. I’m kinda disappointed that Steph decided to go camping at Cacoctin (and she is taking [the alex] with her). I think I’ll also miss seeing her for the weekend. Okay, time to get to sleep or something like it.

note to self: [white horse of uffington]