spectating participant

May 20, 2004

bye, bye birdie

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:14 am

I took 95 to Baltimore today, different than usual. I was stopping at the Community College of Baltimore County to take my last and only final for the semester. Rain started to fall just as I left 495, continuing North on 95.

I saw something on my hood, small and odd. I couldn’t quite figure out what it was but it didn’t look like anything I knew. ‘What if it’s a bird?’ ‘How on earth can you think that blob looks anything like a bird?’ I was perplexed. I scrutinized it, between changing lanes and waves of the wiper blade. Then the force of the air shifted it, and suddenly, I knew it had to be a dead, featherless, baby bird on the hood of my car. ‘No, it can’t be.’ ‘Yes it is, just look at it.’ ‘Yuck, I don’t want to, I don’t want to think about it, ohhhh. gross.’

I call Dave, trying to escape this sickening realization. I can’t stop thinking about how I am going to be staring at this undeveloped creature, plopped dead on my hood, all the way to Baltimore. Just as Dave answers the phone, I scream and it moved… or it moved and I scream — “Oh my god, it’s dead. –” dead baby bird slapped against the windshield — “Oh, no! Ahhhh –” then the windshield wipers waved — “Noooooo. Oh disgusting. Noooo” the head flies off and then the body follows — “oooh, nooo, eeew, nooo! ahhh!”

I eventually stop screaming. Dave mumbles something about a warning before calling and yelling into the phone. I try to calmly explain what happened, but I’m still having a hard time breathing. I think I mutter something, “baby bird on the hood -breath- wanted to call cause -breath- it was freaking me out -breath- then the wind came -breath- and there was the windshield -breath- then the wipers went -breath- decapitated it -breath- oh my god -breath- this is awful.” I finally mutter some form of apologies, put down the phone, and gawk out the window at the passing cars and the missing bird.