spectating participant

November 24, 2004

the great turkey let down

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 7:44 pm

It looks like we are skipping thanksgiving this year. well, not completely; we will be going to Dave’s house for a thanksgiving brunch, typical breakfast fare. And then, thats it. No turkey, no dressing, no pumpkin pie. I think I will survive.

I wanted to cook dinner this year, but I didn’t feel motivated enough to endure the supermarket the night before the big day. of course, a little pre-planning would have avoided that, but when have I had time for pre-planning lately?

nope, I’m flying by the seat of my pants on everything. running off on tangents that might be best left alone, but damn I’m glad that I finally said a few things that had been rattling around in my brain for a while. it sucks when you get stuck on one mental track and can’t get out of it. so, i threw it all out in the air, it may have been a stupid mistake, but at least I’m getting a break from the mental torment for a while.

speaking of tangents… yes, I’m gonna miss having some of the tasty dishes I typically prepare, but I will survive. And, there is always next year. And who knows, maybe the beach house on Dauphin Island will have been repaired from the hurricane damage by then and no other hurricanes will have come through. Could be fun to actually go on vacation over the turkey holiday.

November 22, 2004

shifting spaces

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 6:18 pm

argh! yes, I’ve been in the middle of moving for a couple weeks now and it hasn’t changed yet. I’m getting antsy and tired of everything being all out of place. Mark and Megan are running off tomorrow for their Thanksgiving vacation. However, Megan was insistent that they get started on moving the office into the library so that alex could have her room (or part of it). Sigh, so now everything is all apart, it doesn’t feel like this was really considered or planned out, so the stress is getting to me even as I try to avoid everything in my room.

I’d probably be more egar to help if I thought that there was a plan of action in place (or if I didn’t have a major paper due tomorrow–which I’m still avoiding). Instead, when it’s just a major push from one space into another, without clarity that everything has a space, then I’m not so eagar to gget left holding something that has no place. Add too everything that Thanksgiving brunch at Dave and Steph’s might get moved to here to accomodate the many people. That’ll be stressful if everything is all out of place.

Sigh, not really complaining, it is just adding to the overwhelming feelings that I’ve been having lately. So much going on, so much out of my control.

November 21, 2004

art art art art

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:22 am

Art-o-matic is so inspiring. Artists making art, simple and clear. I couldn’t wait to get home and start making things. Yay. Stayed out later than I usually do. Then, I realized that if you distract the driver enough, you just might end up in downtown baltimore. bwahahah! mmmm.

November 19, 2004

shopped till i dropped

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 6:02 pm

I’ve been rebuilding my wardrobe. I cleared almost everything out in this last move, tired of hanging on to things that I never wear and that don’t actually fit. I also wanted to get out of the jeans and ultra casual clothes that I’ve been wearing for so long now. So, i picked up a few nice shirts and skirts, along with a pair of new boots (mmmm). Almost bought a long jacket just to go with the short skirt but talked myself out of it. I don’t think I’m quite done shopping yet, but got a good majority of it done.

The more tiring part of the day waas getting lost in rockville on my way to [g street fabrics]. I called them yesterday to find out if they had buttonhole elastic. The woman said they did, in 3 different colors too. So, since I need some socck garters still, I went out of my way to pick it up. What should have taken no more than 45 minutes too 1.5 hours. And then I get there and am told that yes, they carry it, but they don’t have any on hand right now. Bah! So, that kinda threw off the new-clothes-buzz. I then got lost again trying to get home by being too hungry and spacey and totally missing the fact that I took the wrong exit.

Oh well, I think i will try on an outfit and maybe we could even go out for dinner or something if I get all dressed up with no where to go. ;)

November 16, 2004

a good day

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 8:26 pm

today was one. I did not get back to college park for class, and should be tarred and feathered for that. however, instead I spent the entire morning tackling my budget. it seems that I have an odd way of arranging numbers, or so I am told. Mark was helping me make sure that numbers were adding up right and suggested I improve my system. So, I rearranged how everything was laid out and budgeted which threw all sorts of things off.

I was working on figuring out what my monthly income will be and how much money I should have in the bank based on that income amount from September to November, minus all monies spent. Now, for some reason, that sounds like it would be very straight forward to do. But not when the previous income amount was different since I had arranged the numbers differently.

the new system makes more sense, it covers the entire year instead of just october - june. so, now I know that I can pay all of my bills for the year and not have to worry too much about what I am going to do this summer. And, since I’m planning on backpacking around asia or taking a year to study abroad, it’s nice knowing that everything is already taken care of. ah, deep sigh. if only I’d been able to develop a budget like this before, i could have been saving so much money.

in addition to getting my budget to add up right, i also moved lots of things into the new room. it looks a lot like me now, my own space! it is just so exciting. i have some comfy places to sit in order to be inviting to get other people to stop in and visit me. I have my books in the bookshelf and most of my crafts and artsy stuff esaily acessible. aww, it is just so nice to have so much space again.

and, it’s a house that is totally kid friendly. so, if / when alex goes back to public school, we can have a slumber party to help her make some new friends. oh what fun it will be! and then pool partys in the summer, oh la la. guess it is about time for a dinner party, should check the calendar and invite some friends… oh wait, it’s been a while since the last sushi party….

oh what a good day. ah, and one more thing, dave got back from paris today and it’s a pseudo anniversary as well. since it’s hard to put actual date on things, this was a fairly special day a year ago and it’s the one I’m going with. I had all this special stuff thought up, but since I’m still off in my own little space and he was just getting back in town, it was addressed with a short and sweet email. maybe I’ll see him in a few days and catch up with a kiss or two.

November 15, 2004

moving acomplished

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 8:56 am

I got all of my stuff out of casa del Portuguese! Moving went pretty smoothly. And even though I wasn’t fully ready to move, we still got everything rounded up and in the trucks without too much hassel. The biggest hassel was Alex’s bed, as always. However, since the truck had the space, we were able to leave the two end pieces in tact and move the bed mostly assembled. That will make putting the bed back together much easier.

Alex’s room isn’t quite ready yet, so all of her still will be scattered about the house until we can get the office moved/cleaned. I think that’ll actually be more of a challenege that what everyone is thinking it will be. Once the office is moved, I’ll have my own room and Alex will too, yay!

Well, I need to get some breakfast and get running to class. I’m moving just a little slow today. My body is still protesting from all the moving this weekend. Good thing my ankle is mostly better, just a little pain with the swelling and multicolors.

November 13, 2004

laptop is going back

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 10:29 am

so, when I sent it in, I didn’t worry too much about losing data cause I was pretty certain that it was not a hard drive problem. of course, when I got it back with a brand new harddrive I was surprised and dissapointed.

now, after using it for less than 2 hours, the problem returned. obviously, was not the hard drive. so, yay for the amazing turn around time in getting it back to me, but I’ll be driving back to the apple store (the closer one this time) and giving it back for them to try again.

of course, would be nice if the problem would keep happening long enough to show it to them. oh well. i was thinking it’d be gone for two weeks and so it shouldn’t matter that I am about to send it back again.

November 12, 2004

laptop is back

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 11:02 am

and all brandnew. Well, new hard drive and fresh install. It is stressing me out even more beause everything is different. All of my settings are gone, and I doubt that I backed up things like bookmarks. Also, I know I did not back up the 17gig of music that I had. Oh well, guess that is my own dern fault.

Oh well, a fresh new computer is pretty cool too. So, I’ll survive now that I’ve gotten over the shock that everything is totally gone and I have to reinstall so much and restore so many files.

November 11, 2004

attacking the mountain of stress

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 5:38 pm

First: I gave my laptop over to apple so that they can fix the annoying popping sound. I hope that they can fix it, and I hope they can fix it soon. Bah, I’m going nuts not having all my files with me. Solution: just deal with it and hopefully it is a new, happier laptop when it gets back.

Second: I was supposed to move the majority of my stuff last weekend. That didn’t happen due to ankle. So, I have to move this weekend. Due to ankle stuff, I’m really far behind and it’s a little overwhelming. Solution: don’t worry about it until I can do something about it tomorrow.

Third: Ack! People are stressing me out. Solution: I have decided that I am in charge of keeping my emotional sanity in check and that everyone else will simply have to fend for themselves. I do not have the energy or the reserves to be able to help everyone else keep themselves in line. I’m off getting some self-reliance, please help yourself to some (of your own) too!

November 8, 2004

moving advice

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:40 am

Before you start physically moving your stuff from one place to the next, take a few lessons in how to walk. Start with the basics; one foot in front of the other, without tripping. Once you’ve established a comfortable rhythm, practice walking up stairs, down stairs, along a slope, over curbs, on the sidewalk.

Don’t rush the first step. Once you are comfortable walking, grab an empty box and start over. Start small, just focus on being able to walk down a hallway or along a sidewalk. Once you gain confidence, try stepping off a curb or through a doorway. Again, do not rush. This process takes time.

Now, you’re almost ready to start moving. Leaving the empty box behind, walk along your moving route. Pay attention to any unstable points in the path or potential obstructions. Possible unstable points or obstructions: fallen leaves, damp grass, ridged moving truck ramps, mud, snow, ice, doormats, slippery rugs, pets, steps.

Now, you’re ready to start moving. Do a final trial run with your empty box, reevaluate any unsteady areas if you need to, and enjoy moving.

*Disclaimer: I am totally unqualified to give moving advice. Twice in my last three moves, I have managed to fall and sprain my ankle while carrying boxes. I offer this information for people who don’t want to miss out on a prescheduled moving date and who don’t want to be hobbling around on crutches for a week (especially for college students, like me, who do a lot of walking all day long). However, please use this advice at your own risk and following this advice does not offer any guarantee that you won’t injure yourself.

November 6, 2004


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 3:07 pm

How many stories do we hear each week? How many stories do we tell? Good journalizers would tell a story with every entry. A complete tale with each entry, that if taken out of context, would still provide a complete thought. I’ve fallen behind on storytelling, my entries are snippets of thoughts rambled off in moments stolen from life.

I can say that will change, that’ll I bring life back to my comments, but that would be an empty promise because I have nothing to support such a decision. Right now, I feel like I’ll be moving back into my life, back into the active role that I used to play, and that by moving back into myself, my stories will return. But, sitting on the edge of such a new thought, an emerging idea, I have to recognize that lots of these ideas wither away as life tangles me up again.

I’m sitting at the easel, a partially completed canvas that has been waiting for me ton continue, is reminding me of all the things that I want to be, what I want in my life, what I want to be doing. There have been situations that have pulled me away from the brushes and paints of ambition and tied me to a fraction of life. A place where I moved into a space that wasn’t quite ready for me, nor me for it, and I held on hoping that I would be able to find a new medium to create with. But it wasn’t and isn’t time for that. I need to categorize and consider how I pull the easel back into my life, work on it, work on me, and still find ways to incorporate the activities that have filled my days and weeks these past few months.

I am moving into the spa; I have my own room again. And this will be the first time that I have ever had a space that is completely my own (well, since I was 12). Alex will get her space in another room, I won’t have to share or find space for the messes she makes. My space will not include a walkway into another space, no one to walk in if I don’t want them to, nothing to stop me from establishing a place that is 100% me.

It is in a house where I know that I am welcomed and wanted. I can be in any part of it and not feel that I’m an outsider or that any part of it isn’t mine. It is a home, a home with room for me and space for me to pull the canvas back out and pick up where I left off. Right now I’m pulling out the brushes and paints, reorganizing where everything goes and figure out just where I left off.

I’d love to tell of the ideas that are flowing, of the plans that are being developed. But, that will wait for when I have another story to tell.