spectating participant

March 31, 2003

missing my geek

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 1:43 pm

Well, I’m back. Partially parsed through my weekend adventures, not ready to post it up though. Did want to mention that I miss my geek. The one that I usually see every morning and night. But it seems that all last week I was in bed before he was home and asleep before I got a chance to see him. Then gone this weekend, asleep last night before he came to bed, and off to work before he was truly awake. I miss my geek, I wonder if he misses me, I hope I get to see him soon.

harper’s ferry hike

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:54 am

march 31, 2003

Finally a chance to parse this past weekend. it seemed as through it wouldn’t pause and give me a chance to mentally examine it.

I couldn’t get to sleep the night before…

Friday night.

I can’t sleep. I’ve already got the jitters. I want to run downstairs, throw on my daypack, and head out. I hate that I need to sleep first. I’ve been sick and I’m so afraid that I won’t be able to go. But I’ve made up my mind; I’ll be on the trail tomorrow even if I have to hike along hacking and coughing.


I’m awake too early. My alarm won’t go off for about 2 more hours. I get up, shower, and pack slowly. I’m only a few minutes behind my planned time to pick up phil, 8:45. I had originally said that time laughing, thinking I’ll be pushing it back the covers at 8:30.

Phil’s ready as soon as his shoes are on. Everything in the back of the car and we’re off.

Phil talks a lot. He keeps telling me that he usually doesn’t, but I can’t believe him. He’ll laugh and self-consciously stop for a moment but that doesn’t last very long. I’m happy to be listening. My voice is awkward from my cold and I’m pleased to be the quiet one for a change.

It’s raining as we pull into the park. It isn’t warm or cold, just rain. The park ranger laughs as I ask for a trail map for hiking “In this weather?”. Perhaps we’re crazy, but I really wanted to be hiking this weekend.

A shuttle drops us off in Harpers Ferry, seems to be a small festival happening. We walk past, rain falling down, and head for the trail. The path is marked difficult, and with the rain dripping into my eyes, I find this to be extremely funny. Maybe Phil thinks I’m crazy. I’m grateful that he is there, otherwise I may have backed out of the hike.

The trail feels like it’s strait uphill. I’m tiring way too fast and starting to worry that I won’t be able to make it. I’m scared Phil will laugh, more bothered by his probably disappointment, so I head on.

I stop often, catching my breath here and there. Finally, I get a chance to sit for a while. Looking out at homes on the hill above Harpers Ferry, I snag a late breakfast. Phil is still talking, this makes me smile. I mention it and think I’ve made him self-conscious about it. But it doesn’t matter too much. We both smile and laugh. It has stopped raining. The sun starts to dry out my clothes and hair. We site there for a long time and I’m happy that Phil doesn’t seem to mind.

We eventually move on, more up hill hiking. I think I’ll faint if I walk another step, but I keep going. Somehow we find a downhill part, things improve. We find another little trail, heading further down. I know I’ll have to walk back to the top and worry I won’t make it. We keep going down, maybe the wrong way. But at least it’s not uphill anymore. We come to the cliff overlook. The Potomac and Shenandoah Rivers merge together. Harpers Ferry looks cute nestled bellow. Dark clouds have gathered overhead. The wind stats to blow, the strong thunderstorm warning kind of gusts. It feels wonderful so high above the ground. I take several pictures before we head over to the rocks.

We eventually sit, after climbing to a spot, and don’t get up for a long while. I love the moment, the location, it’s all perfect.

The day finished itself off. The hike back (the uphill part at least) was exhausting. But I made it back.

We find the Bed and Breakfast, what a cute place. One of the hosts greets us and shows us around. I picked the small attic room with “charm”. It is pretty cute. We get dinner recommendations from the host, and shower before heading back out. I get us a little sidetracked on the way to eat, guess we should have brought the map, oh well.

The restaurant looks way too fancy. It has this elaborate mural that looks comical set in such a small town place. It’s like putting up a Parthenon restaurant in Seminole or even worse, Wewoka. The food is good.

Back to the room, Phil is too tall and hits his head on the doorway. I’m the perfect height. I open a bottle of port and have a glass. We eventually get to sleep while it is still early.

March 30, 2003


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 10:58 pm

I had an amazing weekend. It was a wonderful break from my everyday life and the perfect weekend escape. Saturday’s hike started off with wet, wet rain. It didn’t take long to get soaked. However, much to my surprise, the sun did come out and turn the hike into something perfectly enjoyable. And what would normally take about 2 hours to hike, took close to 4 hours or so since I was still a little tired from being sick all week and there were several great places to stop and admire the scenery (and rest). Sunday started with a tasty breakfast and snow falling outside. Took the chance to explore the small shops in Harper’s Ferry. Then Sunday night back home.

Okay, so that was probably the lamest description that most anyone has ever seen or ever seen me give. But I can’t really take the time to try and figure out how to express how perfectly amazing the tip was. And honestly, I’d rather cuddle up with my teddy bear Sir Fuzalot and tell him all the wonderful details instead of typing them out. It is a great deal to sort through mentally and maybe I’l find a chance to give a more detailed expression about the wonderfullness of it all during the week.

March 28, 2003

ho hum

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 6:12 pm

Look, another day at home with a sick child, and not so healthy momma. My vacation starts tomorrow, the one where I am to go hiking out at Harpers Ferry. Hopefully, between the sore throat and forecasted thunderstorms, it still turns out to be a great trip. I’m sure it will, I am determined. For now, I’m just wasting away the hours till I can actually go to sleep.

March 26, 2003

oh what a morning

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:10 am

I almost missed out on beer last night. Woke up with a fever and told Phil I couldnÆt make it. Luckily, I took some motrin and a hot shower and got to feeling pretty good by then time I got into work. Alex was home another day for fever, Rob and I split the day up in regards to taking off work.

[Kathleen|Kathleen Ellis], [Phil Gregory], Karl, and [I|Karen Suzanne] went to [Kawasaki] for sushi. Yum. After that, we headed over to [beer]. I ordered several drinks throughout the evening, but pushed the majority of them off on Phil.

We started discussing beer. I started off with a Lindeman. Kathleen convinced Phil to try to _insert unpronounceable beer name here_. That didn’t go over to well. It was certainly different, but still beer tasting. Then, another fellar brought over the Skull Splitter beer. Again, different, but not tasty. James (the bartender) made me something that tasted like a long island ice tea; Phil and I liked it. Phil ended up with a Martini, yuck. I grabbed another drink, this time a Baltimore Zoo; the pink drink suited Phil. The evening was finished off with a wonderful glass of port that [Jon Lasser] bought for Ben in honor of Ben buying a house. Kinda sounds like a lot to drink, but only if youÆre Phil.

I drove Phil home, encouraged him to drink some water, and stopped to chat for a bit longer. Then my fever came back pretty harshly. CouldnÆt really make sense of conversations, was extremely dizzy when walking, and realized that driving home was not a safe option. Crashed at PhilÆs house, feeling very bad for imposing on him like that. Woke up fairly disorientated a few times too. Luckily, fever was back to normal levels this morning and I headed right to work.

March 25, 2003

still sick

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 11:23 am

Alex still doesn’t feel well. And now I’m sick too. Ick. I’m determined to be better by tomorrow though, and hopefully she will too.

March 24, 2003

my baby is sick

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 5:10 am

Alex doesn’t feel so well. My momma brought her home this morning with a 103.7 fever and worried. Alex still holds on to the “I’m not really sick” ethic even this early in the morning. Amazing what she will do to avoid having to miss school. We actually have a doctor that we can call, it’s impressive. I guess this area doesn’t hire nurses to anser the phones and give out late night medical help to those weary parents calling at all hours. Spoke with the doctor, says to try another round of fever-reducers and call her office back when the phone lines open up. She’ll get us in right away. There is something old-fashionedly comforting about being able to call the doctor in the middle of the night. Of course, I also feel bad that she is getting the call instead of the sleep she probably needs. I like the dial-a-nurse lines we are used to. Better find that number for the next time something like this happens and we just need advice that doesn’t have to come strait from our sleeping doctor.

March 21, 2003

when time gets away from me

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 4:53 pm

Time moves on and on. It seems that IÆm am waiting for Friday knowing that it will be here as soon as I blink my eyes. As soon as Monday shows up, I know that Friday is almost there. Yet the weekends do seem to stretch on for longer that the week. ItÆs a good way to have life work, but it would be better if I could take all days a little slower. I realized that this rush of days to get to Friday leaves me with time passing at a rapid rate. And it feels like my life keeps moving on without me. My daughter keeps growing without me be substantially involved in her life. I think IÆm missing out on so many opportunities to do great and wonderful things by just getting to Friday. What if I took each day and spent all of that time doing something meaningful. WasnÆt trying to get to the end of the workday, wasnÆt trying to rush home to do who knows what. What if I just took every moment that moment at a time?

Weekday afternoons and evenings just collect upon themselves, often filled with empty time that I wonder what I am doing, what should I be doing, and is what IÆm doing really worth the time itÆs taking for me to do it. I often go to bed just because I have nothing else to do. IÆm happy to not have any media distracting me. IÆm happy to know that my computer has less of a grip on me at home now. But I have nothing t fill that gap. I sit and stare out the window, I stop and think and think some more. Thinking is such a bad thing for me. I canÆt help but overanalyze everything that is happening, has happened, will happen, should happen, could happen, and will never happen. Then I start thinking of all the things I could do or not do to changes things. And thatÆs when those major life changes happen. That when monumental disruptions and abruptions just happen. It leaves everyone around me with their mouths dropped, their eyes squinted, and words biting the tip of their tongue. My mom could tell you about all those time, every time IÆve decided to completely change everything in my life, all without warning or notice. Guess thatÆs why she will tell me that absolutely nothing I do or say could surprise her, and then adds on that is not a positive condition of our relationships. So, here I have all this time to think, too much time to think, and IÆve been thinking.

For once there are things in my life I donÆt want to change. And while I havenÆt even considered changing any of it, I have considered doing other things that would alter or change current situations. And after realizing the impact my actions have on others in my life and how I donÆt what those impacts in place, I have to start thinking a little more about some of my previous choices and ideas. One thing I know that I donÆt want to change is my home. I love my boyfriend, IÆm not sure if he really knows this or not, but I really love him. And things have never been so wonderful, relationship wise, ever in my life. To think that I go home to a man who loves me and who gets a long with me and doesnÆt think that the things I do are wrong is great. Our relationship is so comfortable and stable and loving and perfectly structure, I donÆt want that to change. I wonder if he knows just how much I value our commitment to each other, cause I know that I can sometime do things, say things, think things that may make him wonder. But nothing ever changes how happy I am with him and how willing I am to compromise to keep our relationship working.

So, with all this thinking, and this wanting to not change my home life, itÆs all just a bunch of thoughts. Cause itÆs hard to turn your life upside down or change everything and have your home life stay the same. So, I guess IÆm spending my evenings off in lalalala land thinking about possibilities that will never happen cause I donÆt really want them to happy. I like things as they are and am glad to keep it them that way.

**spell/grammar check not applied û just deal with it

zuni poi

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 9:15 am

Whee. I love taking iniative. I posted to [calefaction] about setting up a zuni [poi] order. If we get more than 13 we can get them for 8.00 each, good price off the $20 individual orders. Looks like we already have that, plus some. I’ll still give enough people a chance to respond.

In a good mood today just in general too.

March 19, 2003

Impending Doom

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 8:22 pm

Thats what the world feels like to me. I have completely cut myself off of all news media. I had done this before the “48 hours or else” rant by [Bushie Boy|George W. Bush]. Even without listening or reading any national news, I still hear about what’s happening and get the feeling that the world is about to end. But I only get that feeling from other people and their reactions, I don’t actually believe that.

Heck, I really don’t care right now either. To me this is all stupid and so I’ll just play ostrich and put my head in the sand until it’s all over. Of course, I will still comment about the absurdity of having Highway signs telling us that we are on high security alerts and prompting me to call a number to fuel my fear that those creepy neighbors down the street are really terrorists and I better turn them in before they blow me away. I’ll still roll my eyes when people talk to me about evacuation and leaving the area because it isn’t safe anymore. Was it ever safe? No. They just thought it was because American’s have this awful trait of thinking they are untouchable (not to imply they are an untouchable).

This whole war thing sucks. I have yet to meet even a small percentage of this “majority” of Americans that support the president’s actions. Yet, we’re doing it anyways. Ode to oil. Ode to self-righteous determination. Ode to false superiority. Ode to arrogance.

I plan to stay somewhat disconnected from mass media for the next few weeks, live my life in my own little world, and try to avoid being drawn into any conversations that will draw out any true opinions I have about this whole situation. Of course, a part of me thinks that I’m being stupid and unresponsible by being so withdrawn from the current events. But what can I do about it? I’ve expressed my opinions. I’ve told my representatives what I think. This war is gonna happen without my approval, so why bother with “keeping on top of the action”?

March 13, 2003


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 6:10 pm

Today was beautiful. Alex and I took a late morning bike ride around the neighborhood. It was the first time I saw many of the local streets. Then we rented a dvd, [monsters, inc.], and headed to The Walters to admire some art. It was a fun day.

March 10, 2003

rambling stage

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 10:12 am

I haven’t had a chance to write in days. I’ve had stuff to write about, but have forgotten what. Work is tiring me out. Too busy to have time to keep up with anything outside of the office. Bummer. I want to go back to sleep. Worked all weekend, looking forward to next weeked even though it will be just as busy as this one, but at least with non-work related stuff.

March 2, 2003

gettin’ organized

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 10:59 am

Ginger is coming over today and gonna help me think up some way to get my office organized. Since it now feels like Rob and I are living out of my office, I need the help. But really, we’re not living out of it anymore than we were. Now, instead of going downstairs for clothes, we go to the closet in my office or the dresser is in his office. Somehow it still feels less like my space. Hopefully I’ll get some useful advice and suggestions and ideas today.

About to start a new crafting project. Doing a mosaic tile design on top of my new computer desk. I just drew out a design that I am pretty sure that I will like. Now I just need to get the rest of the tile, grout, and sealant. Whee. I’m excited about this project. I also have another tiling project in mind as well, but it will be a surprise for someone, so hush hush for now.

March 1, 2003

Welcome Kathleen

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 1:20 pm

[Kathleen|Kathleen Ellis] moves in today. Yipee! We’re happy to have her. Hopefully she’ll be happy to be here too. First time I’ve ever had an extra person living in the house, it should be interesting.

Finally bought groceries today. I think it’s been a few months since I’ve done that. Whee. Food!