spectating participant

November 25, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I still feel tired from this weekend. Still feeling a little bit off kilter about it too. Almost want to extend the event just to follow up on some stuff I think I forget to deal with. Oh well, there is always next time.

Work was long, added an extra hour since I don’t say “no” when they ask me to. I’m finally getting comfortable helping the “guests” find things and work on projects. I get to use tons of creative skills all day, I’m liking it more and more every day. But why do I have to enjoy jobs that don’t pay much? Oh well.

I need to work on my mom’s website but feel like a short nap or break would benefit me more right at the moment.

November 24, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Ha. Look up [depression] and you will find so many sites telling you how things WILL get better. No shit. I think most depressed people know this somewhere in their minds, but does that help them right then? No. Depression isn’t really about how things are going to turn out; they are about how sucky things are right then. So, tomorrow I might feel better, grand. But right now IÆm having no such luck. So, I’ll just whine about it.

Went to New York for the first time last night. I didn’t like it. The city gave me such odd, creepy feeling that I wanted to leave almost as soon as we were there. The streets made me nervous; spent the time driving to the warehouse wishing I didnÆt have to be there. The party was nice when it started. I could look around and find people I knew about everywhere. But, the night drew on, more and more masses of people showed up and everyone seemed to vanish on me. I think I did a pretty good job of not whining or pouting about it. I was surprised to watch my friends and how they too went through a variety of pouting motions. Not in a terrible serious way, but still in the “wha, poorish me” way. While that sounds a bit whiny, it was done in a more playful manner. And it seems to work pretty successfully too. You get attention and maybe a nice kiss from someone too.

Today has been long and confusing. Have so much stuff floating around in my mind right now, not sure where I stand on anything anymore. Gotta love life’s little wake up calls when you are least prepared to deal with them. I started back on my [lithium|lithium carbonate] tonight. I’ve been off for a few weeks and it’s really taking its downward toll on me. I’m sure everything will be back in perspective in just a few days and all will be well. Now, just gotta make sure nothing odd happens in those few days to throw everything out of whack (or more out of whack). Oh, I also started my first day as a medical guinea pig today. What a weekend.

November 20, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Yesterday was [my mom|Donna Wiggins]’s birthday. We went to the [Rain Forest Cafe] for dinner and had a lot of fun. My food was okay, my mom’s steak looked wonderful, but Rob’s fish didn’t appeal to me (I don’t like fish).

I worked at [JoAnns Fabric] again today and am starting to get the hang of working at the cutting counter. I’m scheduled to work the two days after Thanksgiving, someone shoot me now. I already asked one of the managers if I could have some time next week to get better acquainted with the store. I don’t want to still be asking my coworkers where everything. And I’m sure we will be really busy that weekend (hah, prolly busier than busy).

I’m really happy with the discounts I get at JoAnn’s, now that I know how easy it is to combine them in with the store discounts. Buying anything at full price there is crazy when everything seems to be one sale every other week or so. And, if you sign up for their mailing list, you can get two 50% off one item coupons that come in handy when you are buying 15 yards of homedec fabric. I have so many ideas for things to make. I think I’ll actually send gifts to people this year.

I had a lot of stuff I’ve been wanting to write about, but no time to do it. So, I guess I’ll go back to sorting through my on hand fabric and thinking up a costume to make for [decom] in [New York] this weekend. Not going to consider going if I don’t have an outfit to wear.

Oh, one more thing. I had two calls about jobs today. One was to offer me a temp position for Thursday, Friday, and next Monday. Too bad, I can’t work Friday and I have to work somewhere else Monday. And the second call was from [Walter Art Museum] about a position I applied for a long time ago. They’ll call back to set up a time when the interviewing manager is no longer sick. I may have to give up JoAnn’s during the week in order to work there (pays better). I’d still like to work for JoAnn’s on the weekend though. I guess all I needed to do was get a job (or two) in order for people to show an interest in hiring me.

November 15, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Yesterday was a good day. I had an interview at the [Baltimore City Child Care Resource Center]. I think it went well and I am very excited about the position. If I get the job, I would help with the planning of an annual conference for child care workers. What a perfect way to combine my love for child care along with event planning and technical skills. I hope I get it.

I also interviewed at JoAnn’s Fabric store. Mostly for their morning stocker position and every other weekend. They don’t pay much and the employee discount is not all that impressive. But it is less than 5 minutes from my house, a job that I could work while still looking for another one (if this [BCCCRC|Baltimore City Child Care Resource Center] position doesn’t work out). Actually, both are part time positions, so working both might turn out to be a good plan. If I only work 3 days a week at JoAnn’s, then I can still put in 21 hours at the other place AND pick Alex up from school (which matters a great deal to me).

I have my fingers crossed for the first position. Got called back already about JoAnn’s and I start [Monday|November 18, 2002]. Hopefully Alex has school that day. In fact, I better check now. Yes, she has school. But no school on Nov. 22, 27, 28, 29. Maybe my mom could watch Alex one of those days, if she isn’t working at the bridal shop.

I’m babysitting Caleb today. Dean and Amy were left without a babysitter for today and no time available to take off work. It worked out. Plus, it’s fun getting to play with Caleb all day, he’s easy going and fun to play with. Hopefully he will wake up before I have to go pick up Alex from school, or he’ll just have to finish the nap in the car.

November 13, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

[Amy|Amy LaPerla] emailed me a link for how to make a star lantern with pattern.pdf. Thanks Amy.

I love my [boyfriend|rob carlson}, I really do, even if he does get on my nerves from time to time. I know that I get on his too.

November 10, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Went to [Art-O-Matic] last night. Wrote up a daylog about it: [November 9, 2002].

Alex just made herself a [peanutbutter and salt sandwhich]. She didn’t like the taste of it.

November 8, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Went to see [Nadine Strossen] of the [ACLU] debate some ex-[FBI] fellar about [civil liberties] last night. Wasn’t really much of a debate though. Neither party seemed to completely disagree with each other. In fact, it was really more a dual monologue that didn’t intersect. Nadine was gung-ho about pointing out how the [Patriot Act] tramples on out civil liberties and the ex-FBI guy was more focused on how certain measures protect your civil liberties. While their view points differed, it didn’t feel like a debate on anything.

No lunch date today, bummer. Sometimes I look for a little extra creativity from [someone|Rob Carlson] when thinking up solutions to certain dilemmas (no lunch money). Of course, I’m pretty guilty of keeping my mouth shut instead of suggesting my original idea: go get Chinese, order one dish, share it, and be out only a few dollars. Heh, maybe [next time|please don’t let there be a next time].

November 6, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

The elections are over. [Kathleen Kennedy Townsend] Wins!. Oh wait, that was just a mix up at sunspot.net where Kathleen won and everyone dropped out of the race from embarrassment. Everyone seems to be grumbling about [Bob Erlich] being the new governor. I don’t really care one way or the other, they are both lousy choices. In [Wisconsin], [Jim Doyle] won the elections. It was a pretty close race. I was pleased to see the [libertarian] candidate holding 10% for a large portion of the race and the [green party] candidate holding 3%. But the best part about their election is that [Scott McCallum] will no longer be holding the governor title.

No fair. The one day I can’t have breakfast is the morning I have to run Alex to the grocery store. We had to get a bagged lunch for her field trip today, and stopped by the bakery counter for breakfast. Of course, I just got to smell all the wonderful pastries and wish I were eating one. Today I’m going to get some blood work done to possibly sign up for a medical research study. It has some benefits that I could use right now, and if all goes well I’ll talk more about it later (if I can, would they limit you ability to talk publicly about the drug?)

November 5, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

“I Voted,” says the small sticker, decorated with the American flag, stuck to my sweater. Alex got one too.

I want to get away, take an entire weekend and run away to a small cabin in the woods. Take containers of creamy [potato soup], crusty breads, and fresh fruit and hide for a weekend. Take my journals, books, paints, pens, papers, and running shoes. Take my bike, warm sweater, coat, and gloves. Just slip outside the city, into a cozy room warmed with a small fireplace, and just spend an entire weekend away from everyone, alone. I don’t think I have ever done that, and it’s about time that I give it a try. Now, when and where? In the meantime, I found a cute little B&B that I would love to run off to with Rob and Alex, grab tickets for the railroad and explore the beautiful fall colors. I wonder if they would be interested.

“Tomorrow may be too late. Live today.” What a great fortune!

Alex is listening to the [Dial a Story] storyline. What a great substitute for a bedtime story. Thanks, [hon|Rob Carlson], for the suggestion.

November 4, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

What I would give for a [Culvers] [chocolate malt] right now. Nothing can make me miss [Wisconsin] more than the desire to have some frozen custard. And then, after stopping at Culvers, I would head over to [Kopp’s] and get the best cheeseburger ever and an order of yummy onion rings. Oh the little joys of life that are now 800 miles away.

Election day is tomorrow. Must decide between [Spear Lancaster], [Kathleen Kennedy Townsend], or [Bob Ehrlich]. Blah. Would be nice to actually have a decent selection to pick from. I don’t think I can justify voting for Townsend or Erlich. I’ll only vote for Lancaster in believing that he won’t get elected but the [Libertarian] platform will get more attention. I just hope Lancaster doesn’t run again for the next elections. But if he does, hopefully he will think ahead about his opinions on [education] issues

November 2, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Last week, Alex and I were seated next a small family celebrating their sons 21st birthday. There were only four people, mom, dad, son, and girlfriend and a fairly happy bunch. After the singing and dessert eating was complete, they suddenly fell into a conversation about the thongs. The girlfriend casually mentioned that the son was wearing one right then. That sent them all laughing, and then the mother continued on how she has tried to get her husband in her underwear so many times. It was a great conversation, they were so cheerful and serious at the same time, as though all families go out and talk about men in thongs. There is hope for the normal people of the world.

[Amy]’s party was fun. I didn’t get to wear my formal gown that my mom and I have worked so hard to finish. Unfortunately, we were short one cut of fabric, and none of tee stores we visited carried the right color of velvet. So, I took home my [utility corset] and wrangled myself in it single-handedly. I then slipped my homemade corset over, added a long black skirt, fused my way into my red wig, and was ready to go hours before the party started. Once we got there, it was very quiet and mellow, just as I had suspected. Visited with the people I knew, shied away from those I did, and went home after [Rob|Rob Carlson] has already passed out on the floor (yes, he got up and went with me).

TodayÆs plans are pretty simple: do something. Alex is off on a field trip with her [Girl Scout] troop, not due home until 5pm. And I’m awake too early on a Saturday and aching for something to do.

I just found something new [sewing blogs]. How wonderful. Now I get to rummage around in other people’s sewing life. whee.