spectating participant


September 25, 2002

09.25.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

9:37am:
Get your decompression pictures. Every time go to events, I’m reluctant to take my [camera|Olympus 3000] out and use it. I’m self concious when it comes to staring down the lens at someone else. That doesn’t make any sense. I like my friends, they beautiful, and looking at them is always fun. But as soon as I go to document their unique expressions, I get all nervous and shy. Doubt I’ll ever become a good [photographer] that way.

Todays list of things to do is getting longer and longer as I sit here. And now, thanks to the new epistolary.org design, I want to compete with somethingequally attractive. But what? However, no time for that, other things must get done.

September 24, 2002

09.24.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

6:23pm:
I now know that I can fit 10ft long [PVC] poles in my car! Woohoo. Helped [Steve|Steve Killen] get supplies for a [tunnel] today. That was fun. Of course, by the end of th trip, he had decided that he doesn’t want me to pay any part of it because he really wants it to be his tunnel. Heh, that was the same reason I kept pushing to pay for part of it. Oh well, now I know that I can get a tuneel for less than $50 (complete with a designer [BobbyG Blue Tarp] covering).

Friends keep asking me how I’m doing, guess it seems like things aren’t going so well to everyone else. Guess I don’ sound happy enough or cheerful enough, or whatever enough to satisfy their curiosity. Yeah, I’m a little stressed. Yes, I’m a little depressed to. But I still think things are fine. As long as I don’t think about it too much, at least.

September 22, 2002

09.22.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

10:08pm
The [decompression] party at Kathleen and Peter’s was great. Got to see my wonderful burning friends, listen to good music, sing happy birthday, eat cake, and play with a little [fire|fire spinning]. Today we went back to their house for the [PDF|playa del fuego] planning meeting. Best meeting ever. I left it unstressed and happy with all those in attendance. Stopped by jason & Rachel house, picked up the ticket mailers and hung out there a little while. Nice to see their new house and lister the the adventures of other recent home buyers.

Got home a little late, [Alex] was sad that she didn’t get to play with any friends today. But tomorrow starts the week and we’ll be back on a normal schedule again. What a busy weekend.

Oh, one more thing, [Rob|Rob Carlson] has his hand in the snake]s tank waiting to pick him up. Maybe it will actually happen. Oh, and the snake finally has a name: [Box].

September 21, 2002

09.21.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

1:33am

…after further consideration and conversation about a possible soultion or plan of action, I’ve decided that leaving my previous post here is nothing but inflamatory and non-productive toward resolving and smoothing some feathers. So, I’ll just note that this was an [interesting] evening and leave it at that.

September 20, 2002

09.20.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

4:33pm
Happy Birthday [Alex]! Woohoo. She wants to goto a [chinese buffet] place for dinner. I guess that is better than the [Red Lobster] option she gave my mom on Monday. I fell all out of wacks for her birthday, like I haven’t done enough or planned enough. Well, I guess we will just have to make her 8th really cool.

Oh, that snake Rob brought home, is really really boring!

September 15, 2002

09.15.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

5:14pm:
So, Rob got a [snake|corn snake]. We’ll see how long it lives. Not to imply I have a problem with it. It’s a snake. It’s in a cage. It’s not my responsibility. It’s fine.
Went looking for [fabric stores] today. Kinda sucessful and kinda not. I need to talk to [Sara|sara sathya] to get the address of another one she took me to.
I’m frustrated.

September 14, 2002

09.14.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

9:23pm:
It is a saturday evening, I have a babysitter staying in my basement, and I’m sitting here at the computer. Not to mention, I spent Friday night (with same babysitter in same basement) sitting at this computer. This is sad. Even worse, I don’t really think that I want to go out. Maybe I’ll just wall myself up in the house and never leave. Whee.

[Playa del Fuego] tickets are on sale (http://playadelfuego.org/d.v/tickets.html) and I’m fairly happy with the new ticket system. Of course, I have these paranoid fears that it’s really falling apart as I write this, I’ll have tons of ticket orders but no way to associate who they go to. And, while that shouldn’t happen, I can’t get past that paranoid fear that I’ve somehow made a huge mistake and it’s just waiting to reveal itself with zeal.

My [mom|Donna Wiggins] has some wedding dresses for sale. These are from [Gigi of Mequon] and were originally priced from $900-1400. Of course, my mom is far too practical to keep the prices that high. So, if you like something, please email me and I’ll forward it to her. I don’t know what prices she wants, but I’m sure that they are very reasonable, and they might be on ebay as soon as she gets back to [Wisconsin].

[Rob|Rob Carlson] has taken up a new hobby, accidently injuring me. It started while setting up [Alex]’s loft bed. Without warning, a large beam comes crashing down on my shoulder, ouch. And since then, there have been toe jabs, foot stepping, and bruised shoulder poking. I’m thinking of installing a protective barrier or something. Didn’t move to [Parkville, MD] to receive this kind of treatement. Long distance phone calls are much gentler. *snicker*

September 11, 2002

09.11.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

2:42pm:
[Alex] is finally enrolled at [Villa Cresta Elementary School]. She is happy that tomorrow will be her first day of school. We still need tog et some more of her [school supplies] sinc I left most of them back in [Grafton, WI]. I’ve been busy sending out [resume]s to places all over, hopefully something will come out of it. Trying to work on a ticket system but [lithium] is being so slow for me, I’m losing patience. It should be completed tomorrow, just in time for ticket sales on Friday. Whee.
Going to get some [kung poa chicken] tonight at [Ding How]’s. Can’t wait.

September 9, 2002

09.09.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

8:43am:
So, I made it to [Parkville, MD] alive and well. My mom suffered through 75mph turns throughout PA. Alex was already out making friends the first day in her new house. So popular that kids were already stopping by to see if she could play by 4pm and I had to tell them she was already a few houses down playing. Life is good, life is wonderful, all is well.

I survived another [PDF|Playa del Fuego] planning meeting without making everyone mad. Looks like my current titles are: [ticket mistress], [burning art coordinator], [money collector], and [volunteer councelor]. Whoa! Looks like I’ve opened my mouth quite a few times, but it is all small tasks (other than tickets). So, I think that I can manage, and if not, I’ll throw a fit after the burn, complain about being overworked and under appreciated, and quite the entire organization. Of course, the likelihood of that happening it.. not at all. I love this stuff to much and love being so involved with it all. And of course, I’m out to dominate the whole thing, didn’t everyone know that when I showed up? Didn’t I announce that my plan to was to hijack [PDF] and rule the east coast’s burning world, bwahahaha. Oh wait, don’t have time for that, so my minimal support will have to do instead.

I’m happy. I’m home. I’ve my wonderful boyfriend, my great daughter, and some many friends around that it is an amazingly welcoming feeling. And mucho thanks to [Sean] for pizza last night and just being such a great fellar over all. Life is great.

5:09pm
I’m tired. Been [driving miss daisy] all day, or so it feels. I think the heat and lack of windflow when doing stop and go driving makes it seem longer. Seems my mom only found one apartment that is even a remote possibility, but looks like she is gonna have to do some adjustments from her North-Milwaukee-suburban-life-living to it-may-be-county-but it-is-still-city-Baltimore-area. ::sigh:: School stuff is stressing me out, seems everyone wants me to show prrof of residency before I can get proof of residency. Gotta love those wonderful [catch 22]’s. Oh well, it will all get settled eventually. I think I’m gonna go find my phone, take a nap, and pretend the world is covered with dust for a while.

September 5, 2002

09.05.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

10:46am:
Wow, I’m just a little too snippy lately. Just sent off a [WIP] list post arguing the merits of art at [Deeply Rooted] and realized that I’m tired of people being so down on ideas just cause [BobbyG] suggested them. And people can argue that isn’t the case, but it is pretty obvious when it happens consistently. Maybe I’m just annoyed at the closed minded minds of some groups of people, who seem to think that just because someone is interested in making [DR|Deeply Rooted] a wonderful place for all varities of pagans, that they are not serious about the [pagan] aspects of the community. Grrr. Yeah, so maybe BobbyG and I are pretty stoked about [Burning Man] ideas and want to pull that into ours and other lives, but that doesn’t set out that we are out to make a big party of every place we go. That isn’t the part that makes the community so wonderful. It is the creativity and the openess to everyone without placing any types of restrictions or limitations on interactions. So what would it hurt if we added a little visual pleasure to DR? Does that just place that as another one of those freaky ideas of BobbyG’s and must be crazy and impractical. And for people with those attitudes, I’d just like to point out that I doubt they’ve been up there working their asses off near as often as he has. Not that work equals input, but damnit, effort sure means something in a community. okay. done ranting for now.

5:39pm:
Suposed to meet Bobby soon. Gotta get him hooked back up with computer software since the desert ate his computer. A vision from last week keeps coming back to me, I’m running out into the open [playa], arms spread out to my side, head tilted back to the sky, spinning in circles, and crying out how wonderful life is. How many times have I pointed out that I’m a happy person and life is always great? I wonder how many people have herd me explain why to them. And it’s still true, life is still great, and things don’t get much better. Oh, by the way, I move in two days. Really, day after tomorrow. And get to be around so many great and wonderful people. Wow. Life is wonderful, I’d give it a kiss if I could.

September 4, 2002

09.04.2002

Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

9:50am:
I’m back! And, I’m alive. So much to think about, so much to process, just so much, so much, so much. Wow. Where to start….

Aug. 24th I jumped into the car, drove for about 40 hours (or so it seemed) with two great friends, arrived at [Black Rock City] at dawn. Looked out over a very smallish and slowly waking town, thinking, I’m finally here. And the week began. My attitude slowly shifted from “this is what I expected” on Tuesday to “oh my god” by Thursday. And it just kept getting better. Running into people and both looking at the city with that expression that no words can hold but your both exploding inside.

I don’t know when I can actually write it all down. I don’t know if anything I ever say will come close. In case I don’t, be sure to stop and ask me about Dirty Dust Storm Martinis, wild star chases, heavenly carcass washes, naked dining encouraged, needing the beats, 4am massages, front row spectating, religious foundings, truck stop rendavous, dome fever, and everything else that is just too far beyond this computer for me to comprehend right now.

Departure depression didn’t set in until rush hour in chicago. Horns blowing, trains passing, and un-costumed people everywhere slapped me with a sudden realization that my clothes need to stay on. Not sure if it has changed my life, but it certainly has stirred up something and I don’t know yet what it is. Once I have time to sit and think about it, I will prolly get close to catcing the tail end of meaning passing me by. But for now, I pack. And soon, I move. And life continues to be wonderful.

6:26pm:
Woa, information overload. Too much happening and needing to be done. Too many people yanking at dangling chains just cause they can. And damnit, the next person that tells me to take a fucking pill (no, rob, not talking about you), I’ll scream. Argh. So, travel plans all fucked up, and wishy washiness is not my cup of tea right now, so someone please screw on your head and direct me where the nearest and quickest exit is so I can get off. Or in other words, I think I need to take a [pill|lithium carbonate]….

6:35pm:
Wow, it’s been ten minutes, feels like 30. Guess my net addiction is improving if time is actually slowing down. Finally had a chance to catch up on the rambling and musing of [my love|Rob Carlson]. I don’t think he realizes just how much I missed him this past week. And how much it really did suck for me that I wasn’t around while he did all the house stuff. Although, I’ll admit that missing out on the whole [UHaul] ordeal was prolly for the best. I love my honey, but he doesn’t always stress well, and I can see that avoiding that instance the first weekend together is benefitial for the entire relationship. Of course, he just might see it the other way around, and thats fine to. I remember thinking on Tuesday morning, “I could have waited for this, I should have waited until Rob could go.” But when you 3000 miles from each other, not like that feeling does you much good. Then looking around at fellow campmates, all pulled from their signifgant others and all of us wishing they were there too. What a pitiful pining bunch we were.

Packing is fun, I keep finding new old stuff. Kinda neat to see what has passed by my fingertips over the past year since I moved in. So much change in a small frame of time. Not sure how I’ll ever understand how I’ve managed to cram it all in. I think time stops, hold the earths rotations, and lets me keep spinning. How else can I justify the emotions, the explorations, the many wonderful changes that have happened?