spectating participant

July 29, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I’ve been so distracted by the [new system|fishy] that I almost forgot to add a new entry. Last night, I headed over to the [Snowflake Village] meeting. I run into [BobbyG] and he quickly tells me about the circus setting up in the backyard. Wow.

So, Alex gets swept away by the circus action while I work on a project inside. And once the sun goes down, there is a yard full of people waiting “7 minutes until showtime.” It was great, locals jumped into the act and even Alex participated. BobbyG produced some fuel and we did a little [spinning|fire spinning]. Then I met the fellar who did the crazy circus act at [Thai Joe’s] a while back. It was great.

The circus of tiny invisibility. You should have been there.

July 28, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Online [PDF|Playa del Fuego] meetings are not as fun as real-life meetings. It’s like hour 3 of this meeting and my attention span has wandered. I at least got my topic done pretty quick, or so it seemed. Now, I just have to wait through other topics and get left behind if everyone goes out for food. Good thing the event is so much more fun than the meetings.

July 27, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

[Rob|Rob Carlson] has finally got his new content management system up on [Epistolary]. It is really cool. I can’t wait to borrow it and see what I can do with it. I think we will even just share the database so that it’s easy for anyone accessing either of our sites to get information that they may be looking for. But, this means I have to sit down and seriously think about how I want it to work. Since my use for it differs from Rob’s use, that will take a little forethought to make sure I don’t waste time doing things the long way. Of course, I’m starting to feel like I really need to work on the one prior development project that I’ve been kicking around for a while. So, tonights game plan is: complete a small [xixstar] addition, create a foundations database for work, develop an implementation plan for the new cms, and impletement the new cms. That is a short list, I should be done sometime around noon tomorrow.

Okay, I’ve got the files and information for connecting up with Rob’s new system: [Epistolary]. One added bonus to this system is that I can finally spell epistolary. For the longest times it was just “[vees]” plus a click. I’m excited about the system, time to go filling it with all of my random information. I still have to figure out how I’m going to get it connected with my page better. I kinda want to get my articles linked into it, but not the same as other bits of information. What to do…. Maybe it will come to me, unfortunatly finger, hand, and wrist pains are coming to me right now. So I better get things wrapped up.

Oh, and after taking the time to go through everything Rob has been entering, I’m quickly realizing that he has this secret stash of information that he has just been waiting to pour into the world. And I love him for it (that was not mushy to say).

My first project was a search function for my journal. Unfortunatly, you can only search for one word or words that are directly next to each other. That doesn’t help much. After talking with vees, I learned that enhancing the search function would be a major task and I promtly dropped it. My second task, the work related one, fell through when I realized that online databases can such when they are slowly, poorly designed, and the website chose a horrible way to server the information. S that was scratched. Third task to figure out how to implement the new system got swept aside by the excitement of having it. I’m sure I’ll wish that wasn’t the case later. However, Fishy: my approach to the new information system is online and functioning. Of course, there is a ton of worth that still needs to be done. As much as I can complete before my hands cramp up too severly is what I’m hoping to acomplish.

July 26, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Women are so catty: {overheard conversation in hall.}
“I don’t know what she thinks she’s doing.”
į į “Yeah, wearing those shots tops and all. Sure, she’s an attractive girl, but she has to stop dressing like she’s 16.”
{time lapse while I went into the ladies room}
“She dressed like that to get attention.”
į į “Yeah, but she is 33, time to act like it.”

Now, if and when I’m 33 and have a good looking body to go with it, I’ll not put up with [jealous wenches] yammering about what I chose to wear. Seesh, women suck. I hate being classified as one, at times. What makes them think that they have the right to decide what clothing, what makeup, what attitude is appropriate for a certain age? If I’m 50 and I want to run around naked and touch all the hotties I see, I’ll do it and be damn proud of the fact that I’m comfortable enough to do so. And I hope that my [friends] will be suportive too.

July 25, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Cloudy out today, but the lack of heat makes it wonderful. Went to see Lilo & Stitch. What a great movie. I wasn’t expecting much from a Disney movie, but they manage to pack in how todays children act into a wildly-entertaining movie. Of course, I wasn’t too sure how I liked the movie for Alex. The opening sceens dived right into far more violence than I like in a kid’s movie. But, then realizing that the movie about an alien created with the soul purpose of destruction, then it was fitting enough. Stitch was cute and I’ll admit I’m a softy for anything that acts all sassy frassy yet is totally sweet cuddles inside. Alex liked it too, being her second viewing of it and all. She gives away then ending just as we’re sitting down: Stitch dies. She didn’t understand why I got so upset about her giving away movie details. But oh well.

The wind is picking up outside, might be time to head out, find the car, and avoid any potential downpours. I think I finally made [Dingo] happy and got the BBQ pictures online. And I inadvertly sparked Rob when I put the Monk e Loves Kid pictures online and didn’t tell people that he took the pictures. Oh well, thats life.

July 24, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Wowie. My life sure likes to toy with me. At some point last week, I threw a crazy idea out: “Hey Dingo, if you were to fly out to [Chicago|Chicago, IL] to pick up your stuff, I’d drive you [home|Baltimore, Md] so that I could go to [Kathleen|Kathleen Ellis]’s housewarming party.” Now, crazy ideas like that come out of my mouth all the time. I’m pretty good at coming up with impossible, illogical, and insane suggestions. Of course, it turns out that a day or so later I hear from [Dingo] that he just bought his plane ticket. Ouch. It was time to make plans to drive back to Baltimore on Friday night after getting home from there Monday morning.

On Friday, I headed down to Chicago to hook up with [Nymph] and Dingo before heading over to [Darpan]’s BBQ. Spent the evening chatting with burners and devouring wonderful food. I was energeticly trying to convince [Magorn] to drive out with me so that I could have some help driving home. He told me to wait another 15 minutes at Darpan’s for him to show up, which I thought that it meant he was on the edge of being convinced. However, he arrives, still set against the trip (with logical reasons that I couldn’t discount: money). So, we decided to light up the [poi] and [spin off|fire spinning] the excess energy we really needed for the drive. In the mix of it all, Ceci shows up and I causually ask if she’d like to go to a party with us on Saturday night and that I’d have her home on Sunday. And she actually said yes! Of course, it was after she said yes that I told her the party was in Baltimore, and she was still happy to go. We hurried out, spreading hugs and kisses all around, and were on our way. Of course, it wasn’t until were in the car that Ceci comments that she can’t drive stick, but she’d promiced to be great company. And she was.

Dingo and I drove from 11:30pm until 12:30am. We got to 2600, whipped up two [cheesecake]s, and then I headed up stairs for an air conditioned nap. After an hour or two of rest, it was time to head to the party. The housewarming party was all I hoped and more. Kathleen and Peter really know how to show their guests a great time. [Monk e] was happily spinning for hours and hours. The playground in their backyard was well utilized by the tons of kids that were present, when they weren’t being monkeys in the giant tree. Food was amazing. Seeing Almond and Gorodon again was great, along with all the burners I get to see almost everytime I’m in town. I love my friends!

Rob gave me an [amazing birthday present]. It is perfect. I can’t wait to hang it up in our house. And I love how he knows that I’m so egotistical and conceited that I’ll love all the pictures of me. Dingo cheated and gave me my gift a couple hours earlier at his place: a fire staff with stars carved into it. I love both of the gifts, they are wonderful. Monday, I had lunch with Magorn and he got me a beautiful [Kathleenesce]-dress and a pair of goggles. Perfect [playa] wear. My mom finished of the day with 2 pounds of crab legs, a 12oz steak, and an amazing dessert. Alex was happy to show me my gift of a wire crafts book and acessories. My mom followed that with a gift certificate at the craft store (which has already been used). The wonderful, thoughtful people in my life are always impressing me with their greatness. I love it. Here I had no thoughts or expectations for the 22nd birthday and it turns out to be one of the best so far.

Got a slight [headache] today which just tells me that the [lithium|lithium carbonate] is kicking back in. And if that wasn’t a sign, the multiple pee-breaks are a dead give away. I’m happy that I’ll be back on track again soon and hope that I won’t let a poor memory get me back in the irritable, paniced, frustrated, nervous state I was in for the past week or so. But then again, don’t I always claim that I’ll remember to take it?

Oh, and I have just have to say that: I am damn cute even if I’m “no exploding dry ice soda bottle bomb”

July 19, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

::sigh:: So, maybe things don’t happen the way I want them to. Maybe I’ll still go to the desert, but at this point it is highly unlikely that I will be able to go. Guess I can just say “next year” yet again and hope that it wil actually happen. Of course, I don’t believe it will happen next year. I see something else coming up and getting in the way. I see new excuses and more reason’s why it won’t be the right time to go. I see my friends taking the year off, I know BobbyG is at least. I see other life obligations getting in the way. So, maybe I’m totally depressed about this whole issue and just looking on the non-bright side of things. Or maybe, I’m just being a realist and confirming the fact that as soon as I move away from Wisconsin, this wonderful do-as-I-wish and go-where-I-please life that I’ve had this past year, which has taken me all over the place, will be gone. Not that settling in with my love places those limitations on me, it’s just that I will have to re-enter normal 9-5-five-days-a-week and 1-week-a-year-vacation life again. That sure puts a crimp in all the fun stuff I’ve been able to do so far. I’ve been able to take tons of vacations, weeks off on a whim, and go anywhere I please because I haven’t had to put up with normal life restrictions. And now I have to give all that up and go back to normal and watch a lot of the things I love doing dissapear. And unfortunatly, I see Burning Man dissapearing with it.

Yeah, but maybe I’ll still make it this year. Maybe.

July 18, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Tomorrow is pay day and I have to decide: fire outfit or Burning Man ticket. Tough decision. The fire outfit would look great on me. I would look really hot spinning fire in it. It would save me hundreds of dollars as I try to wrangle up a babysitter, transportation to Neveda, supplies for the event, and all those extra hidden costs. Well, I’ve pretty much commited myself to going, so I might as well commit myself fully and send off the check for the ticket.

Just sent an email off to BobbyG, gonna prolly hook up with him, throw money down so he knows that I mean buisness, and just bite my lip and pray nothing terrible happens. Now, flight transport for a the little one is in order. Actually, in all honesty, I’m scared of going out there. Scared I’m not ready for it, scared I’ll be completely umprepared, and scared it will change my whole life around in crazy ways. But, I’m sure i don’t have too much to worry about, other than not having any gifts to give out, no coustumes prepared, nothing to take, limited supplies, and no real clue about how to make this trip what it should be. Panic mode begin.

July 17, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

“May I ask why you want to discountinue your internet service?”
į”Sure, I don’t have a phone anymore.”
“So your part of that generation. How can you live without a phone at home?”
į”Oh that’s easy, cellphone.”
I just realized that I absently agreeded to continue to be billed for internet service until July 23, 2002. Now, how is it that I can call and order service and have it turned on within minutes, yet it is going to take them 5 days to turn it off? Seesh, wish I would actually pay attention to what I agree to.

I did pay attention last Friday for the house inspection. I was eager to know where I could knock out walls and what things would have to be fixed. It looks like I will be able to get the kitchen that I want. Now, if I could only figure out how to get the kitchen of my dreams reconfigured to fit into the narrow space where the kitchen and dining room is located. Oh well, here are the house pictures if you want to see the inside.

I think I finally got my edit feature working again. Good thing, more stuff happening that I want to talk about. Now, I always thought that it was a good idea to encourage people to step beyond their normal limitations and do things that are completly unconventional. Well, that is all good and whatnot, but looks like I’m getting pulled into it. Less than a week after returning from Baltimore, I will be heading back out there to take Dingo back home again and make it to Kathleen’s house warming party. Throw in a birthday celebration for myself and I guess it is okay. Now, I better go get that oil changed tonight and skip beer. Damn, I really like beer. Oh well, if I went to beer, I wanted to do it as a red head.

July 16, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

It seems that I have managed to mess up my journal editing page. While, this isn’t a horrible, life-ending issue, it’s pretty damn annoying when I’m wanting to fix some typos and reword some issues that I might not have touched on delicately enough. But, I guess that I should just commit myself to my opinions and stick with them. No more of this wishy washy stuff.

I’m back home, back to functioning, and already wondering when I can leave again. I guess that I am just addicted to a certain group of people. But, I also need to get stuff here in order so that I can make a seamless transition. I think this past weekend has me so excited about moving that it will be hard to contain myself. Told my boss I’d be leaving today. Good for both of us, cause there isn’t money for my position yet anyways. I love how things seem to just work out. And the birds have finally left, now that I finally understand that it is my time to fly.

Wow, someone just came up with a completely crazy idea that I love. Normally, I wouldn’t be so inclined to go through with it, but it is just crazy enough, or at least, an burning ember of sparked craziness in someone else that it inspirational enough for me to help out. Cool. If it is a real option, I’ll be back in Baltimore in no time, literally.

July 14, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I’ve learned that I am capable of convincing people to do crazy things. I spent tons of energy trying to convince Justin to drive home with me. I thought that it would be a perfectly crazy thing for him to do; we all need a bit of craziness in our life. Of course, my tactics didn’t work quite the way I planned. Instead, I’m currently traveling on Highway 80, in the passenger seat of my car, with Rob driving. I never thought I could convince him to tag along. he is too committed to the logical and practical side of life to just jump up and drive across country on a while whim. Yet the morning rolled around and it was time for my to claw myself away from the comfort of his arms and head back to my lonely home in Wisconsin. I delayed as long as possible, making every single justification and bargaining deal I could think of. And when the bargaining was over, I hate decided to stay the night in Cleveland and make the final leg of my trip on Monday (a plan that would make my mother happy). This decision sparked some ideas with Rob and soon we were checking hotel and flight rates. Then, realizing that there was little difference in the combine cost of a motel and flight and the cost of a flight from Chicago, Rob bought a ticket and we rushed to get ready. An hour later, we were out the door and on the way for a ridiculous road trip, well ridiculous for the fact that were kept watching the clock to make sure Rob would make the 6:30am flight home. Just imaginw, standing in Double T Diner, arguing about whether or not we were going to have enough time to get him back to Baltimore in time.

Life is great. I fall more in love with Rob every time I spend time with him and it’s so obvious why we are perfect for each other. Sure, he thinks he is officially crazy now, but I knew he was to begin with. I’m just helping him act on it. And if you are tired of hearing about this sappy stuff, stop reading cause I’m not tired of talking about it.

July 12, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I haven’t mentioned it yet, but I *love* the dual monitor screen. It
is a multi-taskerĘs paradise. Now I finally have enough room for
everything that I am working on and a little room to spare. I could get used
to this.

Did the house inspection thing today (fyi, my honey is getting a house
and thatĘs where I’m moving into when I get to Baltimore). Basically
everything is good other than one issue. So, that is very good to hear.
I have so many ideas for what I want to do, redecorating/remodeling wise,
to the house. It has so much potential. I think Rob is getting all
worried that I’m going to hate living there cause I’m not too hip to the
neighborhood. Guess he doesn’t realize that non-east-coastie types don’t
like to be crammed in together with other people. But I’m sure that I
will get used to. Plus it looks like there are tons of kids around for
alex to play with.

I wrote up this whole other post while sipping down some delicious chai
earlier. But, it just doesn’t seem right to tack it onto the end of this
one. But, I really want to dive into the topic anyways.

This either makes a ton of sense or you think it is completely wrong.
I have found very little in-between ground on this issue: multiple
relationships. At once of course. Last night I got to hang out with a
couple of my friends who “get it.” And I’ve spent quite a few hours in
the past few weeks, and today, further thinking over my own view point.
I’ve always had my generic opinion that there is no reason you have to
love only one person at a time. Of course, when getting into deeper
analytical discussions on this matter, I realized that I don’t do very
good at backing it up. Regardless of that, I still believe it.

So, on my own personal viewpoint, I’ll rattle off my opinion. I am
completely and totally in love with my boyfriend. He makes me happier
than anyone in the world. Yet I still see it perfectly logical and
emotionally satisfying if I were to have another relationship in addition
to this one. There is no lack of anything emotionally or physically in our
relationship that would make me want this. In fact, the comfort and trust
level in the relationship is what places that okay seal on it. To me, it
isn’t about taking an emotion away from one person, it is that sharing
with others. And why take something so wonderful and valuable as love and
affection and limit it to only one portion of your life. Sharing it
doesn’t make it worth less or less important it is just taking the time to
make other people’s life more wonderful.

What I wrote up at the coffee shop sounded far more eloquent, but
at least I got the thought out. And this all sounds good in theory but
does it happen that way in real life? I’ll prolly never know, because,
like I said, either you get it or you don’t like it at all. And well, I
may get it, but not enough to pursue it, and the one I love has his own
viewpoints that don’t reflect mine.

movie is starting, gotta go watch it with my love and two great

July 11, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Being a geek has wonderful personal benefits. Yesterday, I spent a good portion of the day tail -f’ing and watching the logs scroll. Putting the SynchroniCity pictures pulled in a few new people. And the multitude of compliments on the pictures is heart warming. What a wonderful follow up to such a grand weekend. I’m not sure when I’ll come down from this emotional high.

Most of what I can remember of the weekend, is little catch phrases and moments. Like: watching and waiting for the Pummeler (aka BobbyG) to live up to his name (and mouth) in volleyball, walking out of my camp Saturday morning and greeting Brian who’s tired expression shows that 14 hours of drinking was hard work, hearing a blender churning around 9am and getting a color coordinated drink from a giant pink bunny is pretty, walking around with trays of food for the unsuspecting wanderer, watching fire skitter across the wings of the Piasa Bird, and being in a “whole pile of sexy” on the outdoor couch with Nymph, Ceci, and Dingo, and 15 hour trek home with a wonderfully fidgety person who has me spoiled for road trips now. Ah, what a weekend.

Last night we turned into redneck firespinners. No matter where we went, we could not find any shops open to sell us some kero. So, we decided to give diesel a try. This stuff burns and burns and burns. But, it smells horrible and smokes like crazy. I would only suggest it if you have nothing else to spin. From now on, I’ll just go with the white gas instead.

Looks like tonight includes and adventure to the Dime Muesum. I have no clue what it is about and when and where, but I’ll be there.

July 10, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I never want to go camping again. I will turn and run screaming if I ever see another tent or sleeping bag waiting for me to surrender to sleep. I will never be able to donate blood due to the DEET content that has most likely built up over the past few weeks. I’m tired of being a gourmet smorgasboard for mosiquitos, ticks, and biting fllies. I should have a combined SPF factor of 2000 from accumilated applications of sunscreen. So, sadly enough, I won’t be going to the mini-not-a-burn at Assateague Island this weekend even though I’m in town.

After a lot of hoopla and wackiness, SynchroniCity still happened. I heard an estimated number of 56 in attendance, a perfect number for campfire hopping and random cooler raiding. I had a wonderful time getting to know so many new people and engaging in so many conversations that I don’t know what they were really about then and I still don’t know. I was happy to see the East coast totally “represent” and laughed at the few times I got classified with the lot of them.

And, so inspired by wonderful company and great atmosphere, I offered up a ride home to ranger Dingo. So we get back to my place Sunday night. Dead tired, unable to do more than shower and sleep. But we were semi-ready to go Monday morning. I dallied longer than ever and ended up leaving way too late. Of course, when you have great company in the car, what does it matter how long into the night the trip stretches. After miles and miles and hours and hours of great interaction, I was finally at my final destination. And there I was, at 4:20am on the steps of 2600 calling up my wonderful boyfriend to grab his key and walk downstairs to let me it. It was a great surprise for him and I love his it-is-too-early-in-the-morning-but-my-love-just-randomly-showed-up-on-my-doorstep look.

I’m back in Baltimore, having fun looking up cool moving stuff. Got to see “the house” and it has wonderful potetial for looking really great (yeah, I’m a decorating snob). The backyard is perfect for a good fire spinning party and the neighbor hood seems to be filled with traces of childhood. Life is just perfect.

New pictures are finally online:
Summer Solstice Party

July 1, 2002


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

Someone keeps hasseling me to add a new
entry. Just because he suddenly has time to enter a couple short href="http://epistolary.org/rob/">articles to his weblog, he seems to
think I should stop spending my time working and researching my upcoming
relocation. I guess that if I don’t find good
apartments or shops that my mom can investigate further on her own now, my
mom can just occupy a guest bedroom in the new place a little while longer
later. No need to prepare her with all the information she could possibly
need, just so that she can pull up with her stuff, move right into her new
place, and go strait to work. Nah, I’m sure that href="http://vees.net">he will be happy to have the additional