spectating participant

October 9, 2001


Filed under: unlisted — suzanne henderson @ 12:00 am

I am not sleeping again. And the sleep that does come is chalk full of dreams. Overall it is an unrestful slumber. I wish I could track the instances that prompt excessive dreaming. I wish I could simply capture and record the dreams, yet they have stopped every time I have tried journalizing them. I get flashbacks interrupting my day. I will be driving down Captiol and glance over to a signal light just as the visual memory slips past the corner of my eye. The clue sparks the mini-dream sequence leaving me grasping for understanding or reference. Through out the day these brisk encounters skirt past my mental grasp of understanding and taunt me with unknown mysteries. The primary drawback to the intense dreaming is the overwhelming disorientation that follows the mind-breaking buzz of my alarm clock. The rapid changing of gears as my mind comprehends the meaning and source of the alarm leaves me extremely confused and uncertain. I eventually realize that I was dreaming and that it is time to start the day, but that feeling of surprise, of attack follows me throughout my mornings. But enough talk of dreams, it is time for me to sleep.